


Death to Birth

by myaekingheart



Series: The Scarecrow and the Bell [9]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Death, Childbirth, Death, Edo Tensei, F/M, Fourth Shinobi War, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Mercy Killing, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:28:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27297175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myaekingheart/pseuds/myaekingheart
Summary: In which Kakashi was never resurrected after Pain's Assault, leaving behind a pregnant and heartbroken wife. Now, amid the chaos of the Fourth Great Ninja War, he is brought back by Edo Tensei and forced to ask of his wife the unthinkable: to kill him one more time.(Standalone companion piece to The Scarecrow and the Bell, Alternate Universe)
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Natsuki Rei, Hatake Kakashi/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Scarecrow and the Bell [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913203
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Death to Birth

**Author's Note:**

> Should I die again?  
> Should I lie around  
> The pounds of matter willing through space?  
> I know I'll never know until I come face to face  
> With my own cold, dead face  
> With my own wooden case  
> It's a long, lonely journey from death to birth...  
> -Death to Birth, Pagoda  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNJjgAlhadQ
> 
> (Hi I didn't proofread/edit this, happy crying, also Suki Cosplay's Edo Tensei Kakashi got the gears turning on this one so a thank you to his awesome cosplays for inspiring me~)
> 
> **Edited 2/5/2021 to include the accompanying artwork, freshly edited. (See the original in Artwork for The Scarecrow and The Bell)

Kakashi gasped for breath, his eyes burning as his vision blurred. All around him was death and destruction. His legs were numb from the rubble; there was no way he would be able to move. Pain proved to be a formidable opponent. And now here he was, the renowned Copy Ninja Kakashi Hatake, finally defeated. There was nothing more he could do. He accepted death, despite everything he knew he was leaving behind.

“Rei…” he whispered, though he knew she wouldn’t be able to hear him. He hoped she was safe. He hoped she was out of harm’s way. He would hate for her to get injured in a fight like this. She was strong, but this was far beyond her ability. Especially in her current state. “I’m so sorry. I broke my promise…I hope you can forgive me. Please, look after yourself…and our child.”

The world around him warped and darkened, his eyes straining to focus. His head pounded, it was too much. As he closed his eyes, he felt his breathing grow shallower. A shriek echoed in the distance just as everything went numb.

The feeling first returned to his fingers, then his arms and legs. Furrowing his brows, Kakashi creaked his eyes open. How much time had passed? He could not feel the sun on his face or smell the smoke and dust from Pain’s attack. When his eyes finally focused, crouched before him was a cloaked figure, familiar but strange. “Kabuto…you bastard” Kakashi muttered.

“Welcome back, Kakashi” Kabuto grinned. He had evolved. He was more snake-like now, more like Orochimaru. Kakashi’s stomach churned.

“What the hell is going on here?” Kakashi asked, surging forward. He pulled a kunai from his pouch but before he could make use of it, his entire body went stiff.

“Let’s not get so hasty” Kabuto mused. “If my calculations are correct, it’s been roughly seven months since you died. And if I do say so myself, a lot has happened! You see, we are in the middle of a war and much like a game of chess, you are my pawn. You have no say in what you do anymore. And what I’m going to have you do is attack the med camp. I expect you to see some familiar faces there, so it should be a nice reunion.” 

Kakashi’s stomach lurched. He had vowed to protect his comrades. How could he possibly stand to endanger them? He had no say in the matter and that was perhaps the worst part of all.

Pursing her lips, Rei redressed an injured shinobi’s wounds. Yugao watched her from afar, concern painting her face. “Are you sure you should be doing this?” she asked. Her eyes skated to Rei’s belly, so large now that she couldn’t even zip up her jonin vest. A war was the last place she belonged.

“I’m fine, quit worrying so much” Rei insisted, but her sentence was clipped by a sudden tensing in her abdomen. Rei cringed, pressing a hand to her stomach as she sucked in a sharp breath.

“See? This is exactly what I’m talking about” Yugao replied, rushing to Rei’s side. She provided support with one hand as she pulled over a chair with the other, forcing Rei to sit down. “You’re not fine, Rei. You should be back home, resting.”

“Yeah? Well I’m not so we’ll just have to make do with it” Rei snapped. Sighing, Yugao dropped her gaze and shook her head. Kakashi’s death had hit her so hard. Without her husband, she seemed to lack purpose or direction. She seemed to lack a will to live. But she had no other choice. For their child, she needed to be strong. While she waited for her arrival, though, Rei needed a distraction. When news of the war broke out, she knew she had no other choice: she would become a medic ninja to help in whatever way she could. No one thought this was a good idea, Yugao especially. It was dangerous to put so much strain on her body, her swollen ankles and tired eyes. But Rei was determined. She cared not for the consequences. She needed to make an effort. She refused to sit idly by while her comrades risked their lives.

Before Yugao could say anything more, a clatter outside redirected their attention. The pair understood the situation immediately: they were under attack. Without a second thought, Rei reached for her sword and hoisted herself up, rushing outside.

“Rei, wait a second!” Yugao called after her. She chased after her, bursting through the medic tent’s entryway. Waiting for her outside was pure hell on earth. Surrounding them were at least a dozen reanimated shinobi, faces cracked and eyes haunting.

Rei’s sword fell to the ground, her hands trembling at her sides. Before her stood a familiar face mirroring her shock. “K-Kakashi…”

Looking at her now, his heart broke. She had grown so big. He thought of all that he must have missed, all that she was forced to shoulder on her own. Doctor’s appointments, ultrasounds, compiling the nursery. When he left her, she was so early in the pregnancy, she was barely showing. It didn’t quite feel real yet. Now, however, the realization of the circumstances struck him like a kunai to the chest. He wanted to surge forward and wrap her in his arms, to kiss her belly and take her home and have the life they should have had. To be a husband and father, to never miss another moment of their lives together. He wanted to tell her he was sorry and that he missed her and loved her more than life itself but he was frozen. The reality of his death was not lost on him. He was merely a puppet bending to Kabuto’s will.

In that moment, Rei had never hated anyone more than the Akatsuki. First they stole her husband away from her only to fling him back at her, a shell of the man he once was. She had so many questions. She wanted to punch something, or someone, and scream out and destroy. None of this was fair. Absolutely none of it.

“Rei…” Kakashi finally croaked and her heart broke. His voice was so warm, so familiar. Her throat tightened as she fought back tears. She expected him to hug her and comfort her, but instead his voice quickly turned sour. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Offended, Rei recoiled. “You’ve been gone for months and that’s how you greet me?!” she asked. If this was how he was going to act, then maybe he should’ve stayed dead. Rei felt guilty the moment the thought formed in her mind.

“I don’t think you understand the danger you’ve put yourself in” Kakashi replied. “You should be back home where it’s safe. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Where was that sentiment when you died, Kakashi?” Rei shouted back. “Where were you when the whole village fell apart underneath our feet? You abandoned me! Nothing you or anyone else does can hurt more than that!”

“Rei!” a sharp voice called from behind. Yugao surged forward, placed a firm hand on Rei’s shoulder. “Now is not the time to argue. Don’t get yourself worked up.” Her eyes glanced down to Rei’s belly, to the contractions that Yugao knew were racking her body.

“Rei, I need you to listen to me” Kakashi said, voice stern with purpose. “I’m not in control of my actions. I don’t want to hurt you so there’s only one choice: I need you to kill me.”

“W-what? No! Absolutely not!” Rei shouted. She recoiled, eyes wide as her breathing picked up. Perhaps there was one thing that could hurt more than losing him: losing him _again_. She couldn’t stand to put herself through that pain. Not again. Especially for him to die at her own hands. She would never recover.

“We have no other choice!” Kakashi insisted. It was the strain in his voice that proved that he, too, was so desperately pained by this. Rei’s face fell as he saw her struggle to come to terms with what must be done. “I know they’re not going to let me go easy on you _regardless_ of whether or not you’re pregnant. I need you to kill me now before they get a chance to make me fight.”

Squeezing her eyes shut tight, Rei sucked in a sharp breath. A soft whimper broke past her lips. “I-I don’t know…” she croaked. “I don’t know how to kill you. I _can’t_ kill you…”

“Rei…come here” Kakashi cooed, his gaze desperate and longing. Rei hesitated before dropping her shoulders and giving in, waddling slowly nearer. “Wrap your arms around me” Kakashi instructed and Rei did as she was told. She hugged him close, burying her face in his chest, and letting herself break down. For months, she had begged whatever god there was for just one more moment with him, one more hug. She never even got the chance to say goodbye. Feeling him now, despite the emptiness in his chest, felt like finally returning home. There was no way she could do as he asked of her.

Kakashi soaked up every ounce of her, the smell of her hair and the warmth of her touch. He fought every resistance in his muscles to raise his hand to her face, to caress her cheek and tilt her head to meet his gaze. She did so reluctantly, unsure if she could manage looking into those dark, dead eyes. A shiver ran down her spine, another contraction quickly striking her stomach as if taking advantage of her vulnerability. Kakashi could feel her stomach harden against him and panic surged through his veins. “Rei, you need to get to safety” he insisted. “Just please…kill me and find someplace safe.”

“I-I wish you could stay here with me” she wept, pressing her hand to his on her cheek. Her chest rose and fell as she tried to breathe through the contraction, riding the wave until the pain gradually subsided. “I need you, Kakashi. I can’t do this on my own. I-I need you stay with me.”

Kakashi’s chest burned. God, if only he could. If only he could use this chance he had been given for good but he knew it wasn’t meant to be. So long as he was resurrected, he was a vessel for destruction and nothing more. “We’re running out of time” Kakashi whispered.

“But I can’t put myself through this again!” Rei protested.

“Then don’t think about it” Kakashi told her. He pressed his forehead against hers, the cold of the metal plate on his headband spiraling her even deeper into despair. Everything about him was so cold, so lifeless. “Rei, this isn’t me” he insisted. “Look in my eyes. Focus only on my eyes. This isn’t me.”

It was true: she saw nothing of the old him in his gaze now. He was a fake, a decoy. But she could feel in his touch, in his voice, remnants of her beloved husband and that made this so much harder.

Kakashi turned his gaze then to Yugao in the background, fighting off yet another reanimated shinobi. “Yugao!” he called to her. She glanced at him over her shoulder, expectant. “Hand Rei her sword.”

“K-Kakashi, I can’t!” Rei cried out. “K-Kakashi, please…don’t make me do this.”

Yugao swung around, picked Rei’s sword up off the ground, forced it into her hand. “Yes, you can, Rei” she assured. “Think of your duty.”

_Your duty_. That phrase felt like such a sick joke now. _Your duty_. Her duty was to protect Konoha. That was the whole reason she got herself in this mess in the first place. And truthfully, she needed to stick by that. She had made a promise to her village, her people, her future. If only her future could have Kakashi in it, too.

“Rei, do it _now_ ” Kakashi insisted. He had resisted Kabuto’s control for so long, but he could feel himself losing his power. If they didn’t take care of this soon, the enemy would get the better of him. He could not handle the thought of watching himself kill his wife. She needed to end him _immediately._

Rei’s hands shook, her palms growing sweaty, as she stared at the blade at her side. _It’s not really him, it’s not really him, you can do this, it’s not really him_ , she told herself but she didn’t think she really believed it. Amid her inner crisis, another contraction snuck up on her, the strongest yet. Her knees buckled beneath her as she cried out in pain, her hand flying to her stomach. Kakashi’s heart broke.

“Rei, do it now!” he shouted. “For our child, for her future, _kill me._ ”

Overwhelmed and powered by pain, Rei shrieked and finally jammed the blade straight into Kakashi’s chest. It entered with a disgusting squelch, his body beginning to crack from the impact. Rei dropped to her knees, gasping for breath, as the weight of what she had just done enveloped her.

“You did well…Rei…” Kakashi whispered, voice hoarse. Another medic ninja raced over, lugging a sealing scroll along with her. This was it: the end.

Rei looked up at her husband, unable to restrain her tears any longer. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this” she whimpered. “I wish you could stay with me. With _us_.” She reached out to press his hand against her belly, forced a sad smile.

“Take care of her for me” Kakashi replied. “Take care of our child.”

“I will” Rei promised. “I’ll love her enough for the both of us.”

Kakashi gave a single nod as the medic-nin began the sealing process. “Get to safety” Kakashi insisted. “I’d hate to meet you on the other side too soon.” Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Rei forced a laugh and nodded. “I love you so much, Rei.”

“I know” Rei replied. “I love you, too.” Just as the sealing procedure neared it’s completion, Rei lunged forward to rip off Kakashi’s mask and kiss him one last time. It was the least she could do. And then that was the end of it. He was gone. She watched them cart away the cocoon and something in her finally fully fell apart. But there was no more time to dwell. Another contraction hit and she knew she had reached her limit.

Rei glanced over her shoulder to Yugao in the fray and for a moment, Rei felt bad for needing her. She hesitated for only a second longer before the pain became too much to bear. “Yugao!” she shouted, forcing herself to her feet. Yugao’s eyes widened, giving her opponent one last slash before rushing to Rei’s side. Sheepishly, Rei croaked, “I think I’ve pushed myself as far as I can handle.”

“I could’ve told you that an hour ago” Yugao jested. She carted Rei inside the medic tent, handing her off to one of the other medic-nins.

“Hurry back, will you?” Rei asked, leaning on the medic for support.

“I’ll do my best” Yugao replied. She bid Rei a quick salute before rushing back into the fray. As much as she wished she could stay by Rei’s side, she knew that she, too, had a duty to fulfill.

In the loneliness of the medic tent, Rei settled onto one of the flimsy cots and breathed through yet another contraction. As the pain subsided, she rested a hand upon her belly and let herself break down once more. This was not the way she had expected things to go. Despite her excitement to finally meet her daughter, she felt herself descending into grief yet again for Kakashi.

Sniffling, Rei caressed her belly and whispered, “If only you had been born just a little bit sooner…and maybe then you would’ve been able to meet your father. I know he really wanted to meet you.”


End file.
